All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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