Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
