Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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