I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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