I accidentally burped into my bong.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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