she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
