Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Randomize
