Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
