im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
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We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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