Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
