I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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