I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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