There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
