she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
