May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
