i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
