just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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