Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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