There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
