You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong