I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
All of them.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk