it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.