you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.