You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
