that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
