last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
