I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize