vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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