The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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