she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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