yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Actions speak louder than pants.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
