it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
