My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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