does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
