Green mimosas i think yes
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
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I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
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Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize