well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
