I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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