a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.