I want to walk on stilts...naked
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina