I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
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I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
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I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend