Betty ford says i'm here all night
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.