My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"