The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
