youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize