I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
