Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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