Jerry, you need to find god
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We have started to decorate penises.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
