Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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