The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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