remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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