can u get pink eye on your cock?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
