True but thats because hes a fetus.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize