also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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