what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I don't deserve a penis
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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