Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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