I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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