This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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