just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
