God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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