The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Who died my cat blue again?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize