no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
