What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize