So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
