i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
