I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
