I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
