To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
