batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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