could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
